Getting To One-Nineteen

My life is really screwed up, nothing ever seems to go right for any amount of time. And I am sick of everyone and everything especially myself. And I am a big liar. I write on my tumblr all the time about how healthy I am trying to be and the truth is I am not healthy at all. I try to be but most of the time I am not. I starve, then I binge out of control, then I take laxatives like its going to reverse the mistakes. And no one really freaking cares. And when I try to eat normal my dumb family goes on about “should you be eating that?”. I don’t know who I am doing this for, but I know I can’t stop which is a problem, because I am so unhappy. And I am too embarrassed to ever completely open up on tumblr. So I don’t know if I will even try anymore. Losing weight is really lonely.